I.am.

I was looking through my old blog earlier today and I came across one of my favorite entries so I'm reposting some of it which was originally posted October 23, 2006.

I contradict myself in so many ways. My identity changes as often as my away messages. I am an athlete. I am smart. I am a computer dork. I google. I believe that the best things in life happen after midnight. I love driving by myself, at night. I believe that music choice is influenced by my mood, and vice versa. I love my odd piercings in my ears and when I had my bright red highlights. I loved dressing up all of the time this summer with Aut. I am a people pleaser. Parents and teachers love me. I procrastinate. I hate ET, but I love scary movies. I'm stuck between who I was and trying to figure out who I want to become. I believe in taking advantage of being young. I am lucky enough to have friends that would do anything for me who live both right down the hall and a plane ride away. I take too many pictures because I know that it is never guaranteed that I'll have someone in my life the next day. I understand that you can love someone with all of your heart, but not be in love with them. I understand that importance of late night talks, of rushing back from Target to be with a friend, of knowing that its ok to laugh at your friends. I love the simplicity of living in a small town, but the urge to experience the craziness of a big city. I laugh loud. I've been told that I smile with my eyes. I have never met my biological father, but I know that I have something better, the best dad anyone could ever ask for. I am indecisive. I cry for no reason. I cry when I see other people cry. I would rather have a guy call me at 3 am to tell me he was thinking about me than for him to give me flowers. I love the soreness that I feel after a hard workout, even though I complain about it. I know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. I believe that everyone has a dark secret. I wish I was still friends with more people I met my freshman year. I hate when people ask me what I'm going to do after I graduate. People always come to me for advice. I can tell when someone is fake, and I hate fake people. I believe in giving second chances, but I believe that you should have to work for your third chance. I love second kisses that are as good as the first. Thunderstorms remind me of when I was little and my family would have slumber parties in the living room. Everytime I come home I get closer with my brother, and I wish it didn't take me so long to appreciate him. I always think I could have done better. I think my friends' imperfections are what make them perfect. I think that books are better than their movies. I'm afraid of losing contact with people after I graduate. I know that you don't need to spend money in order to have a good time. I miss high school football games. I appreciate how different all of my friends are. I feel like I live two different lives, one at home and one at school. I try to look before I leap, even though I know its more fun just to leap. I love it when I hear a song and think that I could have written the lyrics. I love finding people who share the same music taste as me, because for some reason I think it means we share more than just that. I will trust anyone until they give me a reason not to and when they do they probably wont be a part of my life anymore. I believe that my perfect guy is out there, but he's just waiting for the right timing. I have been referred to as "the nicest girl in the world". I love people who laugh so hard that they have to turn away.